A Slave is for Life, not just for Christmas
Losing Dave after a lasting Master/slave relationship, then losing slave Paul before he even had his chance to submit, I sometimes feel that the world is against me. But not for long. That’s not my style. I am an optimist at heart, pragmatic yes, but my glass is always half full.
Recently, the bois and I have been dealing with the fact that perv slave (Neil) is seriously ill. He is doing okay; a fighting spirit and experience of health scares in his past have set him up to deal bravely with whatever is thrown at him. He also has a wealth of experience as a palliative carer, which no doubt brings a little comfort in the knowing what to expect.
Losing a loved one is devastating. Losing a slave is equally so, if not more. Fostered by complete honesty and trust, the bond goes beyond any other relationship I have experienced, barring that of my parents and a couple of men I have loved over the years. We have all experienced a loss: the impermanence of life, a strange sensation of being untethered from reality, devastation. For me, the worst feeling is being out of control. It’s no secret that losing control is my Achilles heel. I am still not over losing Dave and Paul, nor will I ever be.
I don’t get any younger, but I do get wiser
I am a man of a certain age – mid-fifties. In ever increasing circles, mortality rates work against me. Statistics say that I could die of a heart attack or be diagnosed with cancer at any moment. I know, any of us could. The odds are against me, a man of a certain age.
I might live til I’m eighty-five. Bitter, twisted – stick me in a car, take the hand brake off, let me roll to my death over a steep cliff. The point being, I will inevitably die. Whatever my bois might believe, I am not immortal.
TPE for life
Is there any other way to do it? Not for me. When I seek to control another, I do it meaningfully, and with love. I wish to own my slaves for life. I wouldn’t know how to do it any other way.
It’s not just about the control. Control would be nothing without helping slaves grow and succeed. Outside of these four walls, whatever success looks like to them is where I want them to aim. What if a Dom were to take control, order a sub about 24/7, with nothing else going on? That’s just abuse with a cherry on top. Whether in or out of the bedroom, a legitimate Dom will always be respectful and give as much as they get. A true Dom guides his slaves, setting them up for a win. Yes, intensely painful (and pleasurable) CBT sessions are part of this, but they are nothing more than release.
What surprised boi slave (Mattie) when he first met me was how supportive I was. At heart I am a coach, a mentor, a friend. Perv slave told me I bring out the best in him. If I don’t do that, I have failed as a Master. To coach a slave and watch it grow is one of the greatest joys this lifestyle brings.
Slave down the rabbit hole
The rabbit hole of a BDSM relationship is intense, initially terrifying, and even the most careful are liable to snag ourselves on a crag or two on the way down.
A slave’s journey down the rabbit hole is destined to end in a state of complete dependency. Having surrendered its rights, its choices, this is somewhat inevitable. What Master is left with is a needy bitch-boi who, while capable of performing basic tasks for itself, is completely reliant on him.
I always think forward, pragmatism firmly in place along with worries about what I leave behind. How do I deal with this? One way is being proactive, setting up a safety net for my bois. I have seen it all too often: slaves left paralysed after losing their Masters. It’s a connection that will always be severed too soon, no matter how prepared either party might be.
I cover myself as well as my bois. We all have life cover. This isn’t some sort of reward for service, rather a necessity. The bois signed up to love, honour and obey, for life. I know them well enough to know that this pledge will continue long after I am gone. And, if they are to carry on, it is my duty to make things as simple as possible for them. Money won’t bring one of us back, but it adds security to recovery and, if it’s me that goes first, helps towards them functioning on their own.
One of the benefits of my brand of TPE is the fact that we are a family unit. In building a House of multiple slaves, my bois have each other. They should be largely self-sufficient without me. A family unit may feel the loss of its patriarch, but a network of support can soften the blow.
It’s what ‘normal’ people do
But that shouldn’t put you off. Life cover isn’t unusual, but for some reason it’s not considered much outside of married couples. But life is fleeting for all, never permanent. None of us know what tomorrow might bring. This goes for all relationships, be they based around the tenets of BDSM or completely vanilla. We should all take the time to think about what we leave behind.
I am constantly pushing my bois to succeed beyond these four walls, and I will do everything in my power to help them get there.
P.S. I’m not in the business of whacking an advertisement on my blog, but if you are interested, I would be happy to put you in touch with our provider. If you are part of the community, I have a contact who understands the lifestyle and guarantees discretion in setting up our life cover. Feel free to send an email (link on contact page) and I would be happy to point you in the right direction.