What is the one thing you wish you had known about Master/Slave relationships? Perv slave and Boi slave have the same answer: how difficult it is to find a good Master. Boi slave (Mattie) said that I was the equivalent of a white rhino. I was quick to punish him for the innuendo – poking fun at my rugby build. Yes, he fully intended the double entendré, but what he really meant was that white rhinos are rarer than rare. At the literal brink of extinction there are only two Northern White Rhinos left. I could sit here and wax lyrical about what makes me so special. I’m not going to, because Mattie’s reasoning is subjective. It is true for him. And his brothers. Relatively speaking, it may not be difficult for a Master to find another slave or vice versa, but it sometimes seems impossible to find the right one (or a handful in my case).
I cultivate a House of multiple slaves. Does that make it easier for me to find adequate slave meat? No. I may not be searching for the one, though I am still searching for those that hold the same stick. Compatability seems more vital when entering into a TPE relationship. A vanilla couple need to get along, they need to trust each other, they need to be honest about who they are and what they want. Despite this, they inevitably fall back on societal conditioning to morph themselves into a perfect pairing. Although this can happen within TPE, living the 24/7 has a way of exposing the half-truths and the outright lies about who we are. If left unexposed, our truths can cause things to get a little dangerous down the line. A slave is in a position where it needs to have complete trust in its Master. Works both ways. Complete trust means complete.
My Bois all get on. I wasn’t wholly conscious of this design, but it feels like family, it is family. I found them all the way I find all of my slaves. I seek close to perfection, allowing for human imperfections. A perfect slave has nothing to aspire to, and what can I teach it if it already knows everything. No one is perfect anyway. Humanity is far from it – look at the evidence: we are an invasive, destructive species hypocritically bemoaning things such as Japanese knotweed for approaching life with the same tactics we employ. The possibilities of humanity are endless. If only we could all realise that. People, with their individual flaws can be compelling and breathtaking. What I look for is strength of character.
I have a type. We all do. Mine is bears: big guys, strong, hairy, masculine. The subtext is there – degrading a strong looking man is more of a challenge than one who looks physically weaker. And I am always up to the challenge. I branch out from this type, because character, drive and personality win the day in the end. What I look for in a slave is beyond mere trophies. It might seem odd to talk about drive when referring to a slave type. This is where the style of domination I subscribe to differs from the basic societal view of BDSM. There are Masters whose sole desire is to make a slave feel worthless and pathetic. I won’t lie that degrading a slave is an occasional hobby, reconnecting with my sadistic side. I am much more interested in building slaves up.
I seek uniqueness. Not one of my bois are the same, bringing a range of skills and traits to the table. I seek those that wish to succeed. Mindless automatons? Pointless. Individualism? Beauty.
- House Slave (David) is a bear, but also a natural at following orders.
- L’esclave futé provides companionship and tech support, while also having the ability to cause me to melt.
- Boi Slave (Mattie) is creative and highly organised, wind him up and watch him go.
- Perv slave (Neil) lives up to his moniker in all the right ways.
Our common thread is that we are all here for the same brand of 24/7 TPE. All slaves are successful in their own right, and with my coaching will ultimately be reaching higher than they dreamt. Same reasoning applies be it their lives of servitude or their lives outside the House. They are all at a stage where they are ready to commit for life. A variety of ages (30s – 50s), they are all ready to settle.
What’s more common than a slave wanting a 24/7 TPE lifestyle? A slave or even a sub on the cusp of becoming, who is only after the sex part. That’s not what I want. I find myself having to sift for the treasure. The pressure is eased slightly, because I only look with one eye open. I have a strong unit around me. But I never say never. I will never be completely satisfied, I have an insatiable appetite for control.
In amongst all the fuck-boys online, I find the occasional white rhino. That potential slave who, just like my current bois owned and in training, appears to be holding the same stick.
My slaves are more than capable of submission, but they are still allowed, through my design, to maintain a glimmer of their outside personas. This is a deal breaker.
You won’t find a two-dimensional Master in me – all stick, no love. If a man comes to me and truly wishes to be degraded to the point where he almost forgets who he is: that’s fine. After a lengthy period of consultation, I might just provide that for him. Only after establishing no mental health issues (and that is rare). I get off on family success. It actually makes me hard! No lie. My bois are expected to surrender all control within the House, but succeed in their own right on the outside. I don’t think this is contradictory. The two aren’t necessarily as mutually exclusive as they seem. We are trained to think of success by social status and insane amounts of wealth. This is bullshit. Success to me is personal. Whatever my bois wish to succeed in, I will help them get there. I don’t actually care what it is. My rule is simple: do whatever the fuck you want outside, just apply maximum effort.
Developing a slave on a professional level, helps them in submission. Coached to succeed, it becomes more productive, more efficient, and always has enough time to serve my needs, my wants, my whims.
Fuck the automatons. I want the white rhinos: those slaves who are so much more than satisfying sexual partners and good houseboys. I want the dual experience of a masochist that knows its place, will do anything for its Master, while also having the balls (albeit kept in a metaphorical jar) to carry on living. I’m not interested in that which wants to lose itself completely. How does that serve me? I want not only slave, but family, friend, partner and confidante – and I get this with my current bois. That is my bottom line.
It’s meant to be difficult
What works in a BDSM is an old truth: opposites attract. BDSMers understand the nuance involved in the concept. Most people butcher its meaning: ‘you needn’t have anything in common to have a healthy relationship’. Utter nonsense. Of course you need common ground. What opposites attract means to us is that we are not only at opposite ends of a sub/dom spectrum, but that our traits complement each other’s. Our traits bind together and make us whole. Useless on our own maybe, but together we can forge ahead. Because truthfully, and this may be sacreligous to those ‘Master’s’ who just don’t get it – we need our slaves as much as they need us, perhaps more.
Our white rhinos may be hard to find. But they are there, only if we are willing to put in the effort to find them. Just like you, I get excited by a particular potential from time to time, get a little disappointed when they are not what I expected. I don’t do regret, I just move on. Constantly moving forward is the only way through this world. Progress. Be happy with your lot while striving for more. And don’t forget, it’s never going to be easy.
I did a little reading about the white rhino – a strange research point for this blog. I wasn’t surprised to find information to support my pessimist view of society. There are approximately 20,000 Southern white rhinos. Northern White Rhinos? Two. Yes, two! They were declared extinct in the wild back in 2008 and only two remain in captivity. Two! We did that. We are responsible. Life is never permanent, and there isn’t an endless supply of anything for us to squander. Let’s get it together before we destroy the Earth around us. Let’s get over ourselves for five minutes and do some good. I didn’t mean for this post to become a lecture on the state of humanity, but it’s all too clear that time is running out. Treat the Earth and its inhabitants the same way you would your submissive or your dominant: with respect.
The Boss and his bois
P.S. the featured image on this article is not a white rhino, but just your every day, garden variety rhino. Why? Because we decimated their numbers! And breathe.