Who Am I?
I am the Boss. I live for control, it’s what I’m good at. I don’t cultivate a house of mindless automatons, instead I coach to success – outside as well as inside the House. Alongside their pledge to love, honour and obey for life, my Bois are pushed to achieve their life goals. They remain property, nothing more nothing less. Property I value and respect. It may seem like a contradiction, but trust me, both sides of my brand of TPE work in harmony.
I am an open book. What you see is what you get. I may not be a leather daddy, yet I am a Master. I may not be a suited don, yet I am a Master. I’m not a tanned, muscled adonis humiliating slaves on Only Fans, yet I am a Master. I’m not here to shit on the various styles of Doms and the personas they inhabit, but it’s not me. I’m just a man, a man who craves control. I centre my life around bringing out the best in people with a firm hand and an expectation of submission. My BDSM interests are rope bondage, CBT, and impact play amongst other things. I crave control, sometimes through humiliation. I wear gear occasionally but it’s not a 24/7 look for me by any means.
Beyond the House I am a self-starter, a successful business owner. A lover of people, though I tend to despise society and the boxes it forces us into. I love cars – a passion bordering on obsession. My cars are my other slaves. I like to walk (Bois or the actual dog on a leash – either will do). So yes, a rather ordinary human being, just like you. I am just a man. A man called John. A gay man. I hold many truths and no lies here. I just am…
Who Are The Bois?
My Bois are key to my success, just as much as I am to theirs.
l’esclave futé (French George) melts me. It’s that simple. There’s not much to say other than that he looks and talks the part. And, languages are not my strong suit, so he may very well be cursing me behind my back at any given moment.
Perv Neil, beyond being a wonderfully perverse being, is a true friend. I have known the twisted alpha sub for years. He is the epitome of how to persevere when the world just carries on throwing things at you. His resilience inspires me.
Boi slave (Mattie) is an exception to the rule. He waltzed into my life, expecting as little as I did from our initial meeting. Dressed in baggy clothes and fresh out of a period of hiding, the Boi soon proved that one should never stick to their physical type to find what they are looking for. He might not be a bear (my usual go to) but he is my Boi.
I don’t force anyone to submit. My Bois chose to submit and continue to do so. Everyone in my life has all choices and rights in tact before choosing to hand them over. Consent is key.
Why the Ethical Dom?
Here is the big news: BDSMers understand consent. Consent is a cornerstone of everything we do. Of course, there are people within BDSM who violate the rules. That’s true in every walk of life. Our community values Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) – we even have more than one acronym for such.
A true Master/Dom/Boss follows a strong code of ethics, as do our submissive partners.
The Ethical Dom and what it stands for is nothing new. I would like to think that everyone living a TPE lifestyle or those who dabble in one of the many expressions of BDSM is doing so using their head as well as their heart… and their libido. I would urge those who don’t to educate themselves.
This isn’t some grand, original idea I have struck upon. Rather, I am creating a forum where I can coach and inform alongside my Bois. With a wealth of experience we are open to teaching you how to submit and dominate, to equip you with the tools you can use in and our of the bedroom. We can lead you to finding your why, eliminating any qualms you may have about living a lifestyle that everyone around you views as wrong and perverted (not the good kind). We can demonstrate that it’s entirely possible to establish a healthy brand of TPE that can absolutely fit in around your day to day life. Perhaps the most important thing we can teach, and one as I see as our mission here, is to instil all would-be BDSMers with a code of conduct, built on a foundation of negotiation, informed consent and a level of trust that will breed respect.
In mainstream media BDSM is still treated as equal parts dangerous and laughable. It’s either used as the butt of a joke or an embellishment for an abusive relationship. Thus, in vanilla society, our community is looked at with equal parts scorn and confusion.
Consent is finally getting the exposure it so desperately needs. Society is slowly coming to terms with the nuance of consent, yet still tied to the oversimplified rule that ‘yes means yes and no means no’. People frequently target kink communities with accusatory stares and veiled threats. Those people don’t see what goes on behind closed doors, the amount of negotiation, the wealth of care and the love we oftentimes share with our partners. For the Bois and I, our relationship may not be what Disney would deem ‘normal’. However, when you render it down to the basics there are a lot of similarities: we love the way the rest of the world loves, we communicate, we trust, we bond, we play, we debate.
What we excel at is negotiation and honesty. TPE is all about trust, communication and informed consent. It’s all drawn up in a contract that, while not legally binding, is an exercise in that trust; a vital reminder of why we do what we do. We do what we do to explore with one another, to love, all with an emphasis on complete authenticity. We do what we do because we respect one another enough to allow our true natures to come to the fore.
The two things people barrel down on when they learn of our dynamics are rough sex and domestic servitude. While these do feature heavily in our lives, they don’t define us. It is so much more. In due time, we will show you how.
For now, a quick aside on domestic servitude. The Bois voluntarily signed on for this aspect of being property, and they would be the first to tell you I am not a lazy Boss. I clean with them, I cook with them, we keep house together. I don’t sit on the sofa while they scrub the kitchen tiles with a toothbrush – unless of course it is a will-draining exercise, in which case it would have been thoroughly negotiated beforehand.
An interesting point to make against this is found in a hypothetical couple. Jim and Cathy live in a bungalow at 55 Seaview Close. They both work full time. When Jim gets home he puts his feet up and watches the football. When Cathy returns she cooks and cleans around him. They didn’t sign a contract, they didn’t negotiate. It just is. I am well aware this works for some, but I know just as many who are ‘living lives of quiet desperation’.
And that’s what we do. We negotiate. We consent. It works both ways.
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The Boss and his Bois